Day 54

18:00

Up at midday today, after having dreams about continually taking twenty pound notes out of the cashpoint and loosing them.

Trying to be more pro-active today. Instead of going over the same old broken shots on my short film, or staring at my screenplay and hating it, I decided to do a first grade over the next fifty shots of the short, and to work for a while on the next idea before coming back to this one.

Also, looking on my screenplay I've come upon what I think is the most depressing adjective is in the English Language:

'half-finished'.

Try to name one thing this adjective applies to that it doesn't render depressing.

'Incomplete' can be okay - a lot of brilliant works aren't entirely complete - Mozart's Mass in C minor, Raphael's Cartoons, the final series of Arrested Development: similarly, 'Fragment' is normally pretty awesome: from Fragments of Pyramid Hymns to 'Kublah Khan: A Vision' - it suggests a part of a lost whole that still reflects the entire piece's magnificence.

But 'half-finished' is always a kick in the balls. I mean, even the food on the Marie Celeste was meant to be half-finished. Something I've noticed about writing more is that no matter what you do, everything creative seems to feel half-finished. I wonder if it ever feels more complete.

01:00

Well, it's 1am and I've hardly done any writing again. I've scribbled out a couple of pages of notes on the next project idea, but nothing on the damned crusades piece. But I have managed to do a rough grade on over 50 shots of my short film, and I'm rendering out the rest - another 200 shots, roughly - right now. So that's really positive.

Will try working for another hour, probably, then go to bed, try to get up at a sensible time tomorrow.

03:00

I finished rendering all those shots, so that I can grade them in bunches, hopefully tomorrow and on wednesday. As a result of doing this mammoth task since about 4pm this afternoon, I haven't got much writing done, but have sketched out plans for the next project - and this feels good. I look at my spread sheet, at my diminishing hours and word counts and feel really pretty bad about it. But I'm doing only positive stuff right now, there's no point getting pissy about arbitrary goals when you're still doing good stuff.

Going to go to bed now, and hopefully get up a couple of hours earlier tomorrow.

word count: 692
hours writing: 2