Day 31 (End of Month One)

11:00

Okay, I've got some serious shit to do today. Unfortunately, there are other things I have to do as well, but this is my last day of the month: and the stats don't look as good as I had hoped. I'm really going to have to concentrate and plough forwards to get to where I need to go with this script.

15:15

Right. Back from everything I needed to do. Worked out another nice snippet for my script. Need to get some lunch and then keep on working!

21:00

Having a really difficult time of it putting this fucking thing together. I mean, really difficult. The geography doesn't work, and I've got a lot of characters who come into the story very quickly: it's difficult to give them all individual arcs to make them interesting.

00:45

Finally made my word count. I am finding this story exceptionally difficult to write - I had so many advantages in my last script - it needed little research, it was set now, and in an imaginary town. The hoops I'm having to go through to get my characters to actual places in Syria and Turkey is turning into a fucking nightmare.

But, it's done now. And so, it's time for my first end-of-month round up.

word count: 2,110
hours writing: 4.5

End of Month Round Up

In this first month of trying to write a screenplay a month, I've succeeded in as much as I finished the first draft of one screenplay.

But since I finished this first draft - just over two weeks into the month - I've found it increasingly difficult to keep my momentum going, and have found myself more and more easily distracted, inclined to take breaks or time off.

I've also failed in keeping to my two primary tasks a day: to write 2,000 words, and write for four hours. These averages were completely scuppered when I had work for a week down in Leeds - and the setback to my overall numbers was such that I became significantly discouraged to not really attempt to catch back up.

In becoming obsessed with the numbers, and trying to catch up on my word count, I put the 'novelisation' of this first script above plotting the new one. Although the 'novelisation' was an extremely effective way of re-drafting the manuscript, it was too time-consuming in the framework of everything else I have to do. So I did not manage to complete a second draft - a proper 'polish' of this January script, that would make me happy to show around.

In short, the numbers have proved that I can work a lot harder and go a lot quicker than I thought, but only if I constantly keep myself in check, banish all distractions, and don't cheat my own rules by banging out 2,000 words a day on 'novelisations'.

The Numbers

scripts written: 1

words written: 57,412
hours writing: 109

average daily word count: 1,852
average hours per day: 3 hours 31 minutes.

What I've learnt so far

I've been amazed by how much more positively I view my writing since I've started on this project. I still really dislike sitting down a lot of the time and doing it, but I feel a lot better about myself and my projects: they don't seem as much like hopeless, go-nowhere dreams.

The momentum of working every day on something has affected other areas of my life, too - I'm trying to be more organized and work through other things quicker and more productively.

But I'm also getting grumpier when I can't write, when obstructions and delays that normally don't bother me at all come along. This isn't so positive: never before have I looked at the clock and actually resented time itself. And I find myself obsessing over things I'd like to do when I try to write: like going to the cinema or playing computer games, which is really pretty lame. In my defence, sitting in a dark room typing on a computer all day may increase my nerdishness.

When it comes to writing technique, I haven't changed much - but I've studied screenwriting and plotting methods for quite a long time. What I've learnt is more about my own psychological state. And the only insight I've had in the last month is this: I think that I, and a lot of people I know who want to be writers, are addicts. They are addicted to not writing. And that addiction can strike at any time, and lead you on month-on-month binges of not writing, which leave you feeling really bad about yourself.

I think this addiction takes many psychological forms: mainly, perfectionism, self-hatred, idleness and excuse-making. One example of this is that I've always put off projects when I come to difficult parts in the story, believing that I needed more time to think them through, or I'd end up writing something poor. This has led to months of not writing and often, me entirely ditching the project because I can't think of a way forwards. But what I've realised over the last month is that, if you sit down and don't allow yourself to do nothing else, the solutions to the problems you're facing can come remarkably quickly, and they're every bit as elegant as the ones you spend a year faffing about.

Being a little bit hard on yourself - treating yourself like a not-writing addict and not allowing yourself to give up on something - really does create better work than letting these voices run your life.

But, beyond all the blabbering above, the main feeling I've associated with this month is one of increased confidence and contentment with what I'm doing.

Which is an unusual, very new and welcome thing for me.

See you in February!